Day 6

Abandoned is what I felt like when no one was there for me in my happiness or sadness.

I’m very close to my late uncle’s in law family but 6 years ago I had an altercation with one of his nieces and to make a long story short we have always considered each other as family.  One of the cousins was going through a divorce when her soon to be ex-husband came to help me with home repair that she suggested.  Well upon pondering on the idea she changed her mind and called me and said she had a change of heart and didn’t want her husband to come and help me and I was ok with that despite the fact I needed help but I wanted to honor her wishes because she was like family to me and her older sister was going to be our witness’ when I was getting married.  My cousin came to help me; which she is related to the cousin that was getting the divorce.  When he showed up to do home repair I told him that I didn’t need his help after all and I didn’t want to upset my alleged cousin.  He didn’t take no for an answer and he said “I’m here to do a favor and I’m not leaving until I complete with what you needed done”.  I looked at my cousin and fiancé at the time and made the face “what do I do?”  My fiancé at the time didn’t know what to say and my cousin didn’t either so he did his thing and left.  Well when my cousin found out she was livid and when I tried to explain to her she wouldn’t listen and her whole family shun me out.  Her sister that was suppose to be our witness bowed out and her niece that was suppose to be our flower girl bowed out 2 weeks before our wedding.  Needless to say I was heartbroken because that whole family didn’t show up to our wedding and then 6 mo’s later my mom died and not one of them went to my mom’s memorial.  I was sad and heartbroken because I’ve been close to them since I was a baby.  Since then we have make peace w/each other but the closeness is not like it was.  Now that cousin’s mom is in the hospital and her heart is not doing very well and I wonder should I go or not?  I have always been there for that family and now I don’t know what I want to do; my heart is conflicted from the past pain but yet happy that we are on social graces now.  Please advise.