DAY 32 Rivalry to love?


Love one another

Today (Tues.), I went w/my mother in law to the Dentist and after that we went and made some errands and as usual we were laughing and joking like we always do when we’re together.  While out, her other daughter in law called and needed her for something.  I heard my mother in law say “well I don’t know how much longer I’m going to be but I’ll call you if I’m done early”, apparently she didn’t tell her she was w/me for whatever reason.

I asked my mother in law why she didn’t tell her that we were together and she told me it was because she thinks that she gets jealous when we’re together.  Funny she should say that about her because I’ve been the jealous one for 11 years; my brother-in-law and his wife have 3 children and my husband and I cannot have any kids so they have always had an advantage over us because she loves being w/her grandkids.  They also live 3 minutes away and we live 12 miles from my in-laws and we don’t get to spend time together because she is always taking care of her grandkids.

I’ve always felt left out because she was the first in the family for 10 years before I came to the picture; she and my brother-in-law have been married for 21 years and, although, my husband is 10 years younger than his brother they have always been close.  From day one we have clashed and there has definitely been sister-in-law rivalry between us.  We both have lost our mothers, she lost hers when she was 4 years old and I lost mine 5 years ago. We are ALL born-again Christians but as sister in-laws we don’t really like each other, sad huh?

The last time I saw them was in June; I steer clear by avoiding them, I know this is bad but that’s how I felt. On this journey I realized I can’t change her but I can change me; with God’s help and the advice from you all, I may have a shot. I want to change that even if she continues to not like me but at least in my part we can be cordial for the sake of my husband’s family but most of all to do God’s will.

I was reminded of this scripture today If you have faith…., you can say to this mountain, “Move from here to there” it will move.  Matt. 17:20-21 NIV

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13 thoughts on “DAY 32 Rivalry to love?

  1. Such an honest confession.
    I believe that you have to treat others well if you want to be treated well.Not that you are treating her bad. All I am saying is that the good one should take the initiative. I hope u get the gist.

    • Yes, I get it and I thank you for your comment. I haven’t yet seen her since June so I pray that next week when I see her at her husband’s birthday dinner that I will be the good one and I pray this every day for the rest of my life when it comes to her and her and my brother in law (husband’s brother).

  2. Wow! A very honest journey. That honesty means that you don’t hide things and that in turn means that real and permanent healing is possible. May God continue to bless you on your journey.

  3. Marianne, thank you so ever much for you personal teachings, I’m slowly learning and I pray that when I see her I will be ok and not have that cocky attitude like I usually do when I see her. I want to display God’s love which will be hard because I never do this, I usually just ignore her but I need to at least bring peace and like you said “leave my pain & hurt with Him.” I just need to change the way I think, I’ve been bitter for so long it like a very bad habit that isn’t going to be easy to do. Blessings to you my sister!

  4. I love your attitude. The only person I can ever change is me, but sometimes by doing that my changed behavior affects the behavior of those around me. This verse comes to mind. Philippians 4:13 “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”

    • Your so right Bongo, not by my strength by by His. I have to say that bible verse over and over again until I truly believe it and build my faith on that scripture. You are truly amazing and I thank you very much for sharing my friend. Please keep me in your prayer….love.

  5. Hi Tri,

    Your honesty is refreshing. I think a lot of people feel the same way. I’ve found it really helpful to sever un-Godly soul-ties I may have made with others and break agreements with the negativity I’m feeling.

    I would pray something like this: I sever every un-Godly spirit, body and soul-tie that I have made with my sister-in-law. I give back everything I have that belongs to her, and I take back everything she has that belongs to me, washed in the blood of Jesus, purified and made whole. I break every agreement, all communication and every connection that I have made to the spirits of jealousy, comparison, competition, performance, perfectionism, unworthiness, rejection, fear, control and self-hatred. I tell all those spirits to go back where they came from in Jesus’ Name. I reject the lie that I need those spirits to help me, provide for me or protect me. I reject the lie that Father God, you’re not going to help me, provide for me or protect me. I reject the lie that I’m all alone and on my own. God, I ask you take all those lies away from me and everything that came with them. God, what’s the truth? What do you want to give me in exchange for all those lies and spirits?

    I might also pray something like this — depending on how I felt: I forgive my father (and/or mother) for teaching me that I’m not lovable. (I release them from having to make it up to me.) And I reject the lie that, Father God, you would treat me that way, too. God, What’s the truth? (God, will you make it up to me? God, how do you want to make it up to me?)

    God has an answer for you. If you have trouble hearing it, it might be helpful to have someone else pray with you.

    Hope that helps!

  6. Tri, you have a good understanding here. You can’t change anyone else’s heart but you can seek God’s help in changing yours! Whenever someone close to me hurts me deeply, I immediately go to Jesus and ask for his help with my emotions and to change my heart from doing what I usually do (which is retaliate!) and to help me to instead leave my pain and hurt with him! It is hard but I am slowly growing in the knowledge that what does it matter what someone does to me or says about me or thinks about me? Is that going to change the fact that I am in Christ and that I will be a joint heir with him in a kingdom that will never end? When I put it in that perspective, I see how silly and foolish it is for me to respond in sin to someone’s attitude against me. I mean, in 10,000 year, is it going to matter?

    Tri, you are growing in your faith. Good for you!

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