DAY 42 A sad Thankful Heart


I spent Thanksgiving with my dad, step-mom and 2 out of my 3 brothers, it was unusually quiet day because my nephews were with their mother and my husband was with his mom,step -dad, grandma, brothers, his dad and step mom with nieces and nephews.  I was thankful to God for blessing me for all that He has given me, my life is modest but compare to the instability I’ve had my whole life I am living comfortable now.  Don’t misunderstand me I wish I was working being a paid writer but right now that is not in the cards for me and for now I’m ok with it until I can get an article published.

My smiles on Thursday were spurious because my husband and I were spending Thanksgiving apart.  We’re not separated by all means, thank God but he choose to spend his day with his family and not with me and because of his choice I was sadden Thursday.  He showed up to my dad’s around 5:30 p.m., I was so shocked because I didn’t think he was going to show up.  We went outside my dad’s and he told me that our marriage is of God and I believe that but like I mentioned on a previous day on my blog, he doesn’t defend me when it comes to criticism from his family or when it comes to choosing holiday time.

So there are no longer two but one. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.” Matt. 19:6

We made up like we always do but I don’t see how you can put a band-aid on a broken limb.  I told him that we needed to seek godly help in church and come Sunday he played the “I’m so tired” card.  I wonder just how much longer that band-aid will hold?

band-aids don't fix a broken heart

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7 thoughts on “DAY 42 A sad Thankful Heart

  1. I read your words several times, Tri. I just wanted to share some things I have learned in my marriage and maybe they can help you.

    First of all, I realize that my husband is never going to do things for me like I do for him. I have been hurt many times by seemingly inconsiderate acts he has done. I have been tempted at times to just close down and be as alone as I sometimes feel. I am used to being disappointed. But then I realized that I don’t have to live my life that way. The bible tells us that everyone in life will let us down but that Christ never will. He is the only one who will never fail us. With that in mind, I keep my eyes on Christ and live to do his will in my marriage. By grace, i can choose to live in joy that does not depend on what my husband does or does not do.

    Tri, your happiness does not have to hinge on if your husband will defend you when his family is critical. ( My husband doesn’t either). Your defender in all things is Jesus Christ. He validates you. You have hope and a future because he gives all good things to you. You should continue to pray for your husband, and pray that God works in your heart to be receptive to his will. That is a prayer that God always answers.

    You may be hurt by your husband’s actions but you don’t have to let your emotions steal your joy. Band-aids don’t work because they cover the wound but have no power to heal. Only God can do that. I am praying for you, my friend.

  2. Counseling at your church is a great idea, however when it comes to a marriage a trained professional Christian counselor may be even better. I know that costs – but if it helps your marriage it’s all worth it. Praying for you.

    • I agree Bongo, I’m all for the cost considering that this is our marriage we are talking about. I want this more than anything, I just hope that he is willing to do this because my husband doesn’t believe in any kind of counseling. Thanks for your prayer Bongo.

  3. Dear Trimed04, my heart breaks for you but God is a wonderful player of puzzles. He manages to put the pieces back together as he knows what is best for us.

    I am no authority or counselor on marriage, but was a single parent for 12 years. If you want some experience advice, let me know. And yes, I think getting counseling from your church would be a great idea. If he won’t go, then go by yourself. Counseling, christian counseling was one of the best moves I ever did for myself.

    • Naphatali, I believe I will take you up on your offer for the experience advice because I really need it. You are absolutely right, if my husband doesn’t go then I need to go alone. Thank you

  4. From a long distance it seems you have most of the ingredients for a good marriage – but there seems to be a need for a large dash of two way honesty/openness. You don’t always have to agree but you do need to know why the other takes certain decisions, or else distrust (poison) comes in. … and remember a cord of three strands is not easily broken. God bless.

    • Pstok, I can’t tell you how much I appreciate your advice and I believe what you wrote about always agreeing and the distrust coming in and I don’t want that in either of our parts. I will keep in mind about the cord of three strands, thank you for that. God Bless you as well.

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