DAY 44 Ungodly Behavior

Continued ungodly behavior

I know I got quite a bit of advice about being the bigger person and not allow what happened with my mother in law to escalate.  I have to admit I wasn’t the bigger person and I was a bit stand-off-ish towards her when I saw her briefly Friday night.  I didn’t let the argument escalate but my actions showed that I was still upset.

I’m the kind of person that doesn’t like to ask for anything because of the fear of being rejected so when I do ask it takes a lot out of me.  I’m so uncomfortable and I’m hoping that by not asking for any help other times that the person I’m asking will say “yes.”  I do realize that things arise or I may be asking for help when there may be a previous engagement.  All I ask is that person will tell me that; I don’t want someone to tell me “yes, I can do it” but then never show up or call me.

All my fault

My mother in law knows this because I tell her to tell me if she can do it and if not please call me and let me know you can’t be there or won’t be able to help me.  I blame me mostly because I should know better than to ask her to do something for me but I guess I’m still upset because this was my fault and I’m angry w/myself.

I will say this to her defense she doesn’t do this all the time so a lot of times she can be unpredictable on dependability.  I did tell her last Friday “why do you do this only to me and not to my sister-in-law?”  I know I shouldn’t compare us but I just had to put it out there not that I haven’t said this to her before.

The mother I never had

Last thoughts:  I feel more comfortable with my mother in law that I do with anybody else including my family.  I don’t have anybody else to be honest but the thing about me is I will remove myself from the equation which means I’m upset.  I know it’s wrong but I don’t have it in me to just say, “it’s ok” and move on.  Any advice that will help me to become that person?  I’m open for scriptures as well.

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Questions on Blogging

Really Confused

I have to admit I am ignorant when it comes to understanding all the blogging jargon.

1. What does the “Links” mean?

2. I was nominated by theheartofJ for the Liebser Blog Award but don’t know how I nominate others with their blogging address and thank “J” through her blogging website-please advice

3. How do I change the settings to have “guest” to post a comment on my blog.  I’ve gotten an email about why can’t a guest post a comment.

4. How do I locate the blogs I like, I have to keep going through my email to check the postings they have made.  Can I do this from my blog?

5. Ooo, what does blogroll mean?

I think that is about it for now, and thanks in advance for your assistance.

Aaahh, got it......Thank You.

DAY 43 When is it enough?

Just want to let you know that there may some things I write that will make you think I need to get over it and move on but please remember; all this is part of my emotional healing.

 

 

My mother in law & I get along pretty well and she does a lot for me and she calls me baby girl but I wonder just how much of it is true.  She has a way of saying something she feels you want to hear so I get mystified when she calls me baby girl. In my husband’s family she is the only one that knows about my childhood my past and I think she feels responsibility as a mom to do a lot for me, I think she feels sorry for me.  It’s too long to offer an explanation but that just my hypothesis.

I don’t want pity I just want her love but I know that love is conditional because of her son, my husband she always sides w/him so that’s why her love is conditional. I know that I’m closer to my mother in law then her other daughter in law because we laugh and share secrets and I listen when she’s hurting whereas my sister-in-law needs her for one thing and one thing only……to babysit. Since we don’t have any children she will ALWAYS do more for my husband’s brother and his family before us.

My solution: I don’t honor when she say’s she wants to get together because she is not a person of her word.  So when is it enough? I know Jesus say’s we must forgive 77 times but honestly it isn’t easy I get annoyed and hurt & it doesn’t do any good to talk to her about it because she always denies it, so what d I do?