DAY 44 Ungodly Behavior

Continued ungodly behavior

I know I got quite a bit of advice about being the bigger person and not allow what happened with my mother in law to escalate.  I have to admit I wasn’t the bigger person and I was a bit stand-off-ish towards her when I saw her briefly Friday night.  I didn’t let the argument escalate but my actions showed that I was still upset.

I’m the kind of person that doesn’t like to ask for anything because of the fear of being rejected so when I do ask it takes a lot out of me.  I’m so uncomfortable and I’m hoping that by not asking for any help other times that the person I’m asking will say “yes.”  I do realize that things arise or I may be asking for help when there may be a previous engagement.  All I ask is that person will tell me that; I don’t want someone to tell me “yes, I can do it” but then never show up or call me.

All my fault

My mother in law knows this because I tell her to tell me if she can do it and if not please call me and let me know you can’t be there or won’t be able to help me.  I blame me mostly because I should know better than to ask her to do something for me but I guess I’m still upset because this was my fault and I’m angry w/myself.

I will say this to her defense she doesn’t do this all the time so a lot of times she can be unpredictable on dependability.  I did tell her last Friday “why do you do this only to me and not to my sister-in-law?”  I know I shouldn’t compare us but I just had to put it out there not that I haven’t said this to her before.

The mother I never had

Last thoughts:  I feel more comfortable with my mother in law that I do with anybody else including my family.  I don’t have anybody else to be honest but the thing about me is I will remove myself from the equation which means I’m upset.  I know it’s wrong but I don’t have it in me to just say, “it’s ok” and move on.  Any advice that will help me to become that person?  I’m open for scriptures as well.


6 thoughts on “DAY 44 Ungodly Behavior

  1. Dear Tri, I found out the hard way that often when people have so much going on they don’t realize they may be hurting someone else. I use to get upset when the responses I got were not what I wanted. Later I realized people are so wrapped up in their own lives they aren’t thinking about anyone else, and I ended up making a “mountains out of a molehill.”

    There really is something to be said for not worrying about what other people think. It use to be a major issue for me, but now I know that God is the only one that really matters and he is a lot easier to please than people.

  2. I have been blessed by following your blog so I have nominated you for the “Liebster Blog Award.” Please visit my site for details and many blessings friend!

    BTW, that dog is too cute! It’s like he’s saying “Praise the Lord!” 🙂

  3. You are asking for wisdom. (James 1:2-5) and I think one of the ways God answers that prayer is through the wisdom of others. Please note: I don’t know the whole situation from one post, so throw out anything that doesn’t work. I will not be offended.

    There is a book that might help. Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud.
    However, it sounds like you have an equal amount of angst at your MIL and at yourself. Dan 6:14 says: And the king, when he heard these words, was greatly displeased with himself, and set his heart on Daniel to deliver him; and he labored till the going down of the sun to deliver him. (NKJV)

    I can’t underline here. but notice ‘displeased with HIMSELF’. You know the story, the king was manipulated into a decree that would cause Daniel to be thrown into the lions den. When the trap was sprung, he was upset with himself.
    Anger in the Bible as you know is something to be let go of quickly. It is ok to experience it but you shouldn’t hold onto it. (Eph 4:28) Another thing about it is to see if it is the anger of man or of God; it makes a difference. (James 1:19-20)

    Since I only have this post to go on, it appears that your MIL disappointed you, you are upset about it and yet since she only does it some of the time, you feel as if you are wrong to be upset. So you are upset with her AND with yourself.
    Are you wrong?

    You might be! If it was a small thing like picking up milk at the store on the way over for dinner and the consequence of her not picking it up might be no mashed potatoes at dinner. On the other hand, if she was supposed to pick up the grandson from somewhere and because she didn’t plans had to be rearranged while you drove 40 minutes to get him….a slightly bigger problem.

    The question you might ask yourself is this. Are your requests of her reasonable and necessary? If they are and she does not comply 20% of the time, then I would avoid asking her to do anything that HAS to be done and stick to the things that won’t matter if she does or does not.

    In this way, if she fails to comply, you can say “oh that is ok” be forgiving and it will not matter. You will forget it because really you had stuffing there and don’t need potatoes.

    Maybe if you show her forgiveness over things that are really small anyway, over time, she will be more reliable…or, if not, you will be less aggravated. Either way, there will be peace.

    Please let me repeat: I don’t know both sides so take what I say with a grain of salt, if it doesn’t apply or help.

  4. For some reason I felt I needed to go to Proverbs for a verse for you. When I opened my Bible there Proverbs 27:10 popped out. I’m not sure why. I don’t know if it is related to your situation or not or if it will help you, but maybe you’ll know.

    • Thank you for that scripture, I will meditate on it and see what God wants me to know from this. I did like the scripture, I shouldn’t go to my brother’s house when disaster strikes me, I’m gonna need this scripture this weekend when we celebrate my brother in law’s birthday Saturday. Thanks so very much for sharing. God bless you for the obedience of sharing this with me.

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