SMILE :-)

Sometimes in life there are no words to describe how you feel whether you’re angry, sad, happy or cheerful.  No matter how you’re feeling or what you’re going through, know that God is on your side. I think that is reason enough to smile.   

If God is for us, who can be against us?  Romans 8:31

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Imprisoned no more

The Lord has anointed me . . . to proclaim liberty to captives and freedom to prisoners (Is. 61:1).  

The other day I was about to make up the bed when I told the doggies to get off the bed.  I noticed that Milo went inside Bella’s kennel, then after he went in there Tessie followed and then shortly after that Bella went in to join Milo and Tessie.

My husband grabbed my arm to show me that all 3 doggies were in this small kennel.  We both started to laugh and I took several pictures of them trying to fit in there, when I tried to call them out it took them a short while to get out of the kennel.

As I was downloading the picture it spoke to me a biblical form and I thought how many times do we allow ourselves to be imprisoned by satan’s lies? I sat there for a moment or so and realized how I allowed him to deceive me with the lies of my past hurts, he’s not even crafty, he has no talent but no less we begin to believe his lies.

I thank God for showing me His truth, I don’t have to subject myself to those lies that satan tries to feed me, now don’t misunderstand me there are times when I still fall into those lies but just then God reminds me that it’s not true and I don’t have to believe the enemy.

I am set free, God has set me free!

Day 26 Judgement day(?)

Can a lying tongue stop it's wagging?

If you may recall on my last blog I mentioned that no one ever seems to care about what I have to say unless it’s in gossip form.  Well, I have lived most of my life like this.  Since I was a little girl I have always been one to know the scoop, yep that’s me.  You’ve heard that saying “you learn what you see”.  I’m not excusing my actions, it’s wrong I know this but it didn’t stop me, this is how I strike up conversation or this is how I get my listener to keep listening.  This is what I grew up with and now I’m aware of it, I want to stop.  At the funeral reception I was in a group with my cousins and no one was talking so I asked questions about how they were doing, how was work, blah, blah, blah.

I tell you, had I been fishing I would’ve gotten more bites than I was getting at the funeral reception.  I started with the small talk about my trip to Dallas and mentioned how my husband and I were having a junk food attack because my cousin from Dallas eats healthy.  I had my cousins listening to me and they laughed when I told them I wanted something sweet and my cousin offered me a fruit, that wasn’t even true; that event never happened but because I had them listening and they were laughing I kept up the facade but then I shifted my conversation when I realize I was gossiping about her.

Before you leave your comment please don’t judge me, I know I’m WRONG and this kind of behavior is unacceptable to God but if you can share any insight with me or a scripture I certainly welcome your comments to stop this atrocious habit

Day 16-24 Mini-Vacation to coming home to sorrow

It doesn't matter how overwhelming it looks like, it's getting to the top and marveling the beauty you come to see.

Well where do I begin, my husband and I went on a mini-vacation to visit a cousin in Dallas.  She is also a born again Christian that I am so very close too.  She is older than I am & I have a lot of respect for her because of her love for God.  I learned quite a bit from her during our visit with them, we did so much every single day it was exhausting but fun.  I saw something in her I had never seen before; I saw generational curses from her.  She got after me a lot like she would her own children but I didn’t take any offense to them because I wanted to learn from her so I took it as a learning experience but on the night before we were leaving we had a slight disagreement and I saw how her son took offense to my reaction as to what my cousin said to me and her daughter gave me attitude.  I wanted to cry because I felt almost attack but not in a bad way but in an emotional way.  I didn’t know how to respond but I tell you this, I wanted to run to her daughter’s bedroom where we were staying and not come out until the next day when we had to leave.

Our time was great until that evening and then I was left with that question “would her kids ever want me to visit and stay with them again?”  Even though I wasn’t at fault (for once) I still felt like I was.  During our time there and from time to time my cousin would kind of snap at me or say something like “Tri, you need to do this or do that” I’m ok with proper discipline but I felt like I was being hit on the head.  I never said anything because I respect her and she being a stronger Christian than me, I listened to whatever she said.  But on that last night she snapped at me and I told her she needed to chill out and relax and then she said something back to me but this time I didn’t say anything back because I felt like if I had, her family would’ve attacked me regardless whether she was right or wrong.

I was afraid to say anything so I let it go and we kept on playing cards but I held in so much emotion but I pretended like it didn’t bother me and asked her what time were we going to leave the next day for our flight and then she was cool and answered with a comment like “maybe we can go out for breakfast” and I said “sure, that’s sound great” we kissed and said goodnight but I kept it inside until we got to our home and told my husband how I felt but during that time I saw my cousin’s mom in her.  The attitude of saying something so hurtful to someone and to say it without any remorse of any kind and to do it with a devious smirk is not godly. The next day she gave us scriptures that she felt God was guiding her to give us.  She wrote them down for us and shared them with us & I wonder how she just channeled what happened the night before to this godly woman in the morning when I realize I do that too.

I guess what I’m trying to say is, I saw a side of me I didn’t like in her.  I don’t want to be that Christian anymore where I say things that are hurtful and have no remorse as to whether I hurt your feelings or not.  Don’t misunderstand me, my cousin is an exceptional godly woman but she has this attitude like I know more than you and I’m closer to God than you.  After talking with my husband I realize that I was going to break and smash those generational curses on myself.  I don’t desire to be that kind of Christian.  I want God’s fruits to show through me, I want people to know that I am a child of a living God that loves and forgives. I opt that for my life from this day forward.

Day 15 Advice Needed

This is how I felt today, lol.

I woke very early this morning because I had a doctor’s appointment and a series of bad dreams, lol.  I have to tell you I dread going to the doctor’s, first of all, I’m there for hours and then when they do call me after all preliminaries; I’m in there waiting in a cold room for another 2 hours before the doctor comes in.  I’m bored out of my wits and I’m falling asleep and the walls are thin enough that I can hear him laughing and chatting away with his patient.  I guess I just don’t understand that if your appointment is at 10:30 a.m. why do I get out at 3:00 and to top it off my visit w/him was 25 minutes.  Sometimes I stay even later depending on the blood test he may want to check.  I have a pet peeve about this though, if I am over 15 minutes late they will cancel my appointment, been there done that.  This is the part where I need patience, I even use my phone to play a game or scroll through the internet because I bored and restless.  After the battery on my phone dies they only have 2 boring magazines in the exam room, this is funny but yet crazy.  Does anybody else go through this or is it just my doctor?  What’s your take on this?

Day 14 Uneasy dream

The darkness of a horrid dream

I had so much to do today with cleaning and washing clothes and it seemed like my day was never gonna end.  I was so exhausted but still had problems going to sleep.   I took over the counter p.m pills and nothing worked.  It must have been about 3 a.m before I finally dozed off.  I had the most bizarre dreams & I wanted to wake up from them but couldn’t.  I can’t explain it but they were like 5 different dreams rolled up in one and I felt like I was in an episode of the twilight zone…IN my dream.  I didn’t understand if it was a message to me or was it just because I was filled with stress earlier that day and my thoughts finally started to dwindle?  I didn’t like this dream and I wondered if this dream pertained as a message of the repercussion of my sins.  Did this mean my past sins or my present sins?  I was happy to be awake but I woke up with a tumultuous feeling, needless to say I began to pray.