Imprisoned no more

The Lord has anointed me . . . to proclaim liberty to captives and freedom to prisoners (Is. 61:1).  

The other day I was about to make up the bed when I told the doggies to get off the bed.  I noticed that Milo went inside Bella’s kennel, then after he went in there Tessie followed and then shortly after that Bella went in to join Milo and Tessie.

My husband grabbed my arm to show me that all 3 doggies were in this small kennel.  We both started to laugh and I took several pictures of them trying to fit in there, when I tried to call them out it took them a short while to get out of the kennel.

As I was downloading the picture it spoke to me a biblical form and I thought how many times do we allow ourselves to be imprisoned by satan’s lies? I sat there for a moment or so and realized how I allowed him to deceive me with the lies of my past hurts, he’s not even crafty, he has no talent but no less we begin to believe his lies.

I thank God for showing me His truth, I don’t have to subject myself to those lies that satan tries to feed me, now don’t misunderstand me there are times when I still fall into those lies but just then God reminds me that it’s not true and I don’t have to believe the enemy.

I am set free, God has set me free!

Dog Parade

He renews my strength. He guides me along right paths, brining honor to his name. Psalm 23:3

Once a year we have a festival in one of our oldest neighborhood in our city.  The homes in this area were built-in the late 1800’s.  A parade with dogs and colorful things are in this parade, when the parade is over a festival will take place and will end around 6:00 p.m.

I have always wanted to take Tessie and Milo (our Jack Russell Terriers) but sometimes they don’t get along with the other doggies and it gets to hot for them and the price of bottled water in the festival is very expensive.  We decided to take Bella our little adopted Chaweenie, and I have to say  this, she didn’t walk very much because she was afraid of All the people and the dogs so my husband and I took turns carrying her.

 My cousin had her little boy on his stroller and offered his stroller to Bella and she took his seat, no questions asked, you don’t have to tell her twice, hurry up and get off so she could sit down.  

At the end of the day, she was exhausted merely on just heat.

My little girl Tessie turns 10 years old

Here is a picture of Tessie when we first got her.  We got her at 6 weeks and this picture is when she was only 3 months old.  She loved this pillow, it was her throne.

Tessie’s 2nd birthday, as you can see her color on her head changed from black to brown.

Relaxing in the arm of my grandma’s sofa.

Mommy taking care of me while I  was ill in 2003.

Look how high I can jump, I am super energetic.

Posing in my genetic pose known for Jack Russell’s.

Have to look good before heading out to the doggie park.

Do I have to say “cheese?”

“Why can’t I go play outside?”

Tessie gets a little brother, Milo. “This is how to scratch that itch.”

I don’t mind helping my brother, even if he was a pest to me.

On a family trip to New Mexico last year, never seen snow before burr this is cold, miss my hot and humid weather at home.

Aaahh, this is more like it. Mommy doesn’t like this hot weather but I do.

After my brother and I were ill from stomach virus, grandma send us a get well card with doggie treats. Thanks grandma.

Tessie 9th birthday

Opening my gift on my 9th birthday, my face color has changed from black to brown to white, guess that’s a sign for getting older.

Christmas 2011, wasn’t too happy because I sat there through a few moments of “don’t move” then this ridiculous dress I had to wear, our winter is not cold enough to wear clothes….hello mom, I’m a doggie.

 Here I am on my 10th birthday party with my little brother Milo and my newest sister Bella.

 Here is to the best 10 years that God has given me with Tessie, I pray I will have many more birthday’s with her and may she remain like she is now, a happy energetic doggie.  This is my poem dedicated to her:  “You Understand, You Understood”

You were my first pet and I didn’t have a clue as to how to handle you & you seemed to understand that I was clueless

I wonder how do I correct her, does she understand what I’m saying? Even then you understood

Yes, you chewed on a couple of phone cords but after one time of catching you in the act

You never did it again, you understood

The only word I ever had to say to you was “no” and you understood that simple word.

No jumping, no messing in the house, no eating human food, no peeing or pooping in the house, you understood

You understood when I was sad and you licked my tears away, when I was sick you stayed by my side day and night and when I had surgery and you knew not to jump on me, you understood…me.

Thank you Tessie for the best 10 years you have been in my life.  You’re mommy’s good little girl, I  hope you understand.

A NEW ME

A blooming flower

I am so very happy to say that I AM a new creation in Christ.  For the first time since I’ve been a Christian for 20 years, I was 18 years old and never ever has this change been done.  The only change I had was my love for Jesus but my personality, attitude changed a little but my stubborn ways didn’t seem to change and my reasoning for being bitter, angry and hurt were blamed from my past.

Angry and Bitter

Here I am a NEW woman in Christ Jesus, not only did I go back to my first love but I saw a mirror of somebody I realized I didn’t want to be anymore.  I have repeatedly have prayed for God to change me and then I started this blog but I still wasn’t happy with whom I was and wondered if the change would ever occur and NOWI believe! We have started classes in our church that is title “Help, Heal and Overcome” and this has helped my husband and I see things in ourselves that we didn’t see before.

Healing power of God

We are healing and now overcoming the obstacles that trapped us from knowing our God and ourselves. I give GOD all the honor and glory for this change and I thank God that I am writing again it sure feels awesome.

EMOTIONAL & PHYSICAL RECOVERY

I’ve been recovering from surgery and so much has happened that I don’t know where to begin but here is a small break down.

One, I’ve been recovery from breast surgery, I’m good now but I went on emotional low and things got pretty intense in my life.

Two, my insecurities from my emotional low affected my marriage and for the first time ever my husband threw his hands up to end our marriage.  I didn’t recognize him, he was cold and distant but after many tears and 3 days later we decided that the failing our marriage was bigger than we were able to fix.

Third, we decided to go to God and have our Maker be the author and finisher of our marriage. 

Fourth, we have decided to commit and have God not just be a part of our marriage but have Him be our marriage. Now we are following through going to church and now attending classes for healing which is more than we have ever done in our marriage.

Fifth, I give God All the honor and glory for this experience because for the first time it brought me to a humbling experience and it has changed me and I am now changing.  I’m more loving, kinder, patient and most of all forgiving.

I’ve been away for a while but like a theater play, God was working behind the scenes and now I am truly grateful for what He has done in my life.  What satan meant for evil, God over turned it for good, for His glory.  Thank you Jesus!

Apologies

not one of my best days

Well, I have been a roller coaster ride and it’s just coming to an end, soon with God’s help and blessings.  I’ve been ill with an infection that I have been battling for 2 months and I’ve been going back and forth to the Emergency Room.  Next week I go and see a new doctor and hopefully shed some light to this infection that has consume my energy and my health.  I’ve had fever for almost the entire month of December and brought my energy level to a low.

I didn’t even feel like getting on the computer, much less to my blog.  I’m feeling better these days and ready to kick this infection and move on with my health and get to the energetic me.  I have to admit, which is bizarre; I’ve been my best (behavior wise) than I ever have in my entire life.  What the devil meant for evil, God overturned it for good.  It’s been a high price to pay because I’ve been in so much pain but I feel, slowly but surely I’m becoming a better person.  I give God all the honor and glory for this, now don’t get me wrong I’m still very far from being the woman I desire to be but I’ve moved 2 steps forward when I felt like I was spiraling down very fast even when I was blogging.

From shameful to humbled

Blogging was the hardest thing I have ever done because I’m not one to put my self out there, my bad behavior was something I was willing to show you than vulnerability.  I would absorb any bad behavior with my sour childhood as a free ride.  I would use this with the attitude “feel sorry for me, look at what I’ve been through.”  Just so that we’re clear, you may see some of my writings towards the past because I’ve been using this excuse for too long that it has almost become a very bad habit (like drugs) and I want to push through that and this journey may take longer than 123 days.  I believe this journey will be my lifelong journey and I want to continue to take consequences for my own actions that I put myself in and not as an excuse.

My apologies to you my brothers and sisters for being stubborn but I thank you all for your prayers and thanks for being there for me because in my life people stay away from me and the more the would deny me the more I was this jagged pill to swallow.  When I started to blog, I opened myself like I never have before without pity, without  manipulation…….me in the raw.  This was the first for me and to be totally honest w/o judgment.  THANKS!

God sees the beauty in us all.

DAY 44 Ungodly Behavior

Continued ungodly behavior

I know I got quite a bit of advice about being the bigger person and not allow what happened with my mother in law to escalate.  I have to admit I wasn’t the bigger person and I was a bit stand-off-ish towards her when I saw her briefly Friday night.  I didn’t let the argument escalate but my actions showed that I was still upset.

I’m the kind of person that doesn’t like to ask for anything because of the fear of being rejected so when I do ask it takes a lot out of me.  I’m so uncomfortable and I’m hoping that by not asking for any help other times that the person I’m asking will say “yes.”  I do realize that things arise or I may be asking for help when there may be a previous engagement.  All I ask is that person will tell me that; I don’t want someone to tell me “yes, I can do it” but then never show up or call me.

All my fault

My mother in law knows this because I tell her to tell me if she can do it and if not please call me and let me know you can’t be there or won’t be able to help me.  I blame me mostly because I should know better than to ask her to do something for me but I guess I’m still upset because this was my fault and I’m angry w/myself.

I will say this to her defense she doesn’t do this all the time so a lot of times she can be unpredictable on dependability.  I did tell her last Friday “why do you do this only to me and not to my sister-in-law?”  I know I shouldn’t compare us but I just had to put it out there not that I haven’t said this to her before.

The mother I never had

Last thoughts:  I feel more comfortable with my mother in law that I do with anybody else including my family.  I don’t have anybody else to be honest but the thing about me is I will remove myself from the equation which means I’m upset.  I know it’s wrong but I don’t have it in me to just say, “it’s ok” and move on.  Any advice that will help me to become that person?  I’m open for scriptures as well.