SMILE :-)

Sometimes in life there are no words to describe how you feel whether you’re angry, sad, happy or cheerful.  No matter how you’re feeling or what you’re going through, know that God is on your side. I think that is reason enough to smile.   

If God is for us, who can be against us?  Romans 8:31

VACATION and Birthday

We had the most amazing view and was able to step out on the balcony and view the mountains and the All the lights.  I want to thank my husband’s job for sending him out to this conference.  I wasn’t able to take my babies because it wasn’t a pet friendly resort but I had an awesome time.   

I thank God for the beautiful things He has created.

Here are my babies before we left for vacation.  

Today is my birthday and I thank God for another year of life and for the opportunity to become what He wants me to be.  

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.                                                                                                                                                 Jeremiah 29:11

A NEW ME

A blooming flower

I am so very happy to say that I AM a new creation in Christ.  For the first time since I’ve been a Christian for 20 years, I was 18 years old and never ever has this change been done.  The only change I had was my love for Jesus but my personality, attitude changed a little but my stubborn ways didn’t seem to change and my reasoning for being bitter, angry and hurt were blamed from my past.

Angry and Bitter

Here I am a NEW woman in Christ Jesus, not only did I go back to my first love but I saw a mirror of somebody I realized I didn’t want to be anymore.  I have repeatedly have prayed for God to change me and then I started this blog but I still wasn’t happy with whom I was and wondered if the change would ever occur and NOWI believe! We have started classes in our church that is title “Help, Heal and Overcome” and this has helped my husband and I see things in ourselves that we didn’t see before.

Healing power of God

We are healing and now overcoming the obstacles that trapped us from knowing our God and ourselves. I give GOD all the honor and glory for this change and I thank God that I am writing again it sure feels awesome.

EMOTIONAL & PHYSICAL RECOVERY

I’ve been recovering from surgery and so much has happened that I don’t know where to begin but here is a small break down.

One, I’ve been recovery from breast surgery, I’m good now but I went on emotional low and things got pretty intense in my life.

Two, my insecurities from my emotional low affected my marriage and for the first time ever my husband threw his hands up to end our marriage.  I didn’t recognize him, he was cold and distant but after many tears and 3 days later we decided that the failing our marriage was bigger than we were able to fix.

Third, we decided to go to God and have our Maker be the author and finisher of our marriage. 

Fourth, we have decided to commit and have God not just be a part of our marriage but have Him be our marriage. Now we are following through going to church and now attending classes for healing which is more than we have ever done in our marriage.

Fifth, I give God All the honor and glory for this experience because for the first time it brought me to a humbling experience and it has changed me and I am now changing.  I’m more loving, kinder, patient and most of all forgiving.

I’ve been away for a while but like a theater play, God was working behind the scenes and now I am truly grateful for what He has done in my life.  What satan meant for evil, God over turned it for good, for His glory.  Thank you Jesus!

Apologies

not one of my best days

Well, I have been a roller coaster ride and it’s just coming to an end, soon with God’s help and blessings.  I’ve been ill with an infection that I have been battling for 2 months and I’ve been going back and forth to the Emergency Room.  Next week I go and see a new doctor and hopefully shed some light to this infection that has consume my energy and my health.  I’ve had fever for almost the entire month of December and brought my energy level to a low.

I didn’t even feel like getting on the computer, much less to my blog.  I’m feeling better these days and ready to kick this infection and move on with my health and get to the energetic me.  I have to admit, which is bizarre; I’ve been my best (behavior wise) than I ever have in my entire life.  What the devil meant for evil, God overturned it for good.  It’s been a high price to pay because I’ve been in so much pain but I feel, slowly but surely I’m becoming a better person.  I give God all the honor and glory for this, now don’t get me wrong I’m still very far from being the woman I desire to be but I’ve moved 2 steps forward when I felt like I was spiraling down very fast even when I was blogging.

From shameful to humbled

Blogging was the hardest thing I have ever done because I’m not one to put my self out there, my bad behavior was something I was willing to show you than vulnerability.  I would absorb any bad behavior with my sour childhood as a free ride.  I would use this with the attitude “feel sorry for me, look at what I’ve been through.”  Just so that we’re clear, you may see some of my writings towards the past because I’ve been using this excuse for too long that it has almost become a very bad habit (like drugs) and I want to push through that and this journey may take longer than 123 days.  I believe this journey will be my lifelong journey and I want to continue to take consequences for my own actions that I put myself in and not as an excuse.

My apologies to you my brothers and sisters for being stubborn but I thank you all for your prayers and thanks for being there for me because in my life people stay away from me and the more the would deny me the more I was this jagged pill to swallow.  When I started to blog, I opened myself like I never have before without pity, without  manipulation…….me in the raw.  This was the first for me and to be totally honest w/o judgment.  THANKS!

God sees the beauty in us all.

Day 41 Truly Thankful

     It is a good thing to give thanks unto the Lord…. Psalms 92:1

Remember  not just for today but for always, give thanks to God for He is good and His love endures forever!

Wow, here I am writing this and I’m amazed on what I went through the last few weeks to be here now giving Thanks to God, in the good times and in the those days that are not so good. I am grateful for day 41 and for the company of my Christian Bloggers who have stood by me when I was alone and afraid……to change.  The encouragement has been overwhelming but in the most positive way.

Happy Thanksgiving and May God Bless you

this day

DAY 32 Rivalry to love?

Love one another

Today (Tues.), I went w/my mother in law to the Dentist and after that we went and made some errands and as usual we were laughing and joking like we always do when we’re together.  While out, her other daughter in law called and needed her for something.  I heard my mother in law say “well I don’t know how much longer I’m going to be but I’ll call you if I’m done early”, apparently she didn’t tell her she was w/me for whatever reason.

I asked my mother in law why she didn’t tell her that we were together and she told me it was because she thinks that she gets jealous when we’re together.  Funny she should say that about her because I’ve been the jealous one for 11 years; my brother-in-law and his wife have 3 children and my husband and I cannot have any kids so they have always had an advantage over us because she loves being w/her grandkids.  They also live 3 minutes away and we live 12 miles from my in-laws and we don’t get to spend time together because she is always taking care of her grandkids.

I’ve always felt left out because she was the first in the family for 10 years before I came to the picture; she and my brother-in-law have been married for 21 years and, although, my husband is 10 years younger than his brother they have always been close.  From day one we have clashed and there has definitely been sister-in-law rivalry between us.  We both have lost our mothers, she lost hers when she was 4 years old and I lost mine 5 years ago. We are ALL born-again Christians but as sister in-laws we don’t really like each other, sad huh?

The last time I saw them was in June; I steer clear by avoiding them, I know this is bad but that’s how I felt. On this journey I realized I can’t change her but I can change me; with God’s help and the advice from you all, I may have a shot. I want to change that even if she continues to not like me but at least in my part we can be cordial for the sake of my husband’s family but most of all to do God’s will.

I was reminded of this scripture today If you have faith…., you can say to this mountain, “Move from here to there” it will move.  Matt. 17:20-21 NIV